Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
