tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
