her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
3 2 1 whiskey
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
