I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
