i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
