my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
