okay pat passed out under dana's car
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
