his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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