I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
