I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
