hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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