So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
In other news, I just burned my penis
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i think i just lost a toe
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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