My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
