Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
There are leaves in my underwear?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
