apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
