First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
