I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
