you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
