just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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