I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
