Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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