His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
