She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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