It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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