I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
