If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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