did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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