My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
