I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
