marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I need a burrito and a hug.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Holy sore nipples Batman
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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