Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
