Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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