In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
