I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
