how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
