if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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