How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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