I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I can't turn off my feet"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
