i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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