grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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