I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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