I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
