I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
