My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
