I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
