I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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