i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
