Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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