as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Randomize
