I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Two words: nipple clamps
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