people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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