Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
