someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm like, not good at living.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
