So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
